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Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
Thanks to yesterday`s chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.