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Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail ... JK ...It was me.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.