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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
My boss just asked me why I wasn`t working.. ..i told em cuz I didn`t see him coming
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
We live in a society that`s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.