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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.
I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.