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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
I hate it when I`m in a crowded elevator and yell out "GROUP HUG!" and people look at me all weird and stuff.. Making friends is hard.
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
Marriage: It`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."
Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!