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Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
How to tell if a woman is mad at you: 1.She`s quiet 2.She`s yelling 3.She acts the same 4.She acts different 5.She murdered you
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
Relationship Status: eating
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....