Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
There`s no `i` in "Shut the f*ck up!"
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."