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Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Just once, I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f*ck..."
If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....