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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
You know you are old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Please do not read this.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?