Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.
Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I`m now being asked to audition for Riverdance.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?