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Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.