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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
Thank God you`ve updated your status to "Finished lunch" after you first posted "Going to lunch" I really couldn`t tolerate more suspense.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
I met a lady named Polly once. She didn`t care for crackers, nor my sense of humor.
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”