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There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she`s homeless.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
People at work tell me I have a lot of patience. Fact is… there are just way too many witnesses around
I wouldn`t want to fly Virgin. Who`d want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way?
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.