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The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.