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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
Son: "Dad, can you write in the dark?" Dad: "Uh, I think so, why?" Son: "I need you to sign my report card."
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
There has to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.