Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Sea levels aren’t rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
Be good ... or I will text Santa
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
"it`s the thought that counts" doesn`t include showering. You have to actually do that.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.