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Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “Shh, not another word,” is super romantic but cops don’t seem to think so.
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
As I get older, I`ve learned to relax and not stress over trivial matters. Just kidding, I`m drunk.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.