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I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
If you knew what I considered to be my "best behavior" it`s doubtful you`d advise me to be "on it".
That moment when you offer somebody a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she`s not your friend anymore
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
Warranty ā A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
Iām taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.