Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
Two years ago I became a proud parent. My kid is 6, but they were kind of a pain those first four years.
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they`re looking for ideas.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.