Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why can`t Miss Piggy count to 100? Cuz` when she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat!
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO