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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
Safe words are for quitters.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
lifes a laugh, start living it!
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
I`ve created a new gym to help with the child obesity problem. There is no building, I am just slowly driving around neighborhoods in an ice cream truck without ever stopping.
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.