Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?