Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder the longer you stay.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.