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If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.