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If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them