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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.