Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Some days Iād like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.
This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer...