Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
If anyone asks, I`m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
It’s not pretty being easy.