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Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
I`m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I`m ok, I`m ok"
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.