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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.