Daily Silly Status

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I’m not falling for that.

Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.

Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.

Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.

I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.

I’m bored enough to clean.

Please just put it in the fridge.... We`ll throw it away next week.

I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.

everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that

The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions

I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.

According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me

If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.

4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...

"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-