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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
I peed so hard that a little laugh came out
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
My grocery cart right now says ā Iām getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!ā And also. āI like fruit.ā
The amount of time my smartphone spends plugged in charging, you might as well want to call it a Land-line
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?