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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Iām going to start telling women that Iām available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.