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No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
I don`t know why I think I could survive the Zombie Apocalypse, I cant even handle the puff of air at the eye doctor.
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.