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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
condoms prevent minivans
Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
It`s not that I`m judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
u cant spell awesome without me
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.