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A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
Don`t wait until you`re on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel because you could be too weak to raise your middle finger.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.