Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.
Running behind is my cardio.
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.