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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it’s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can’t really touch anything.
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......