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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, Iβm picking your pockets.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
Thereβd be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
Irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you donβt like talking to other people.