Daily Silly Status

I don’t go to bars for the same reason I don’t grocery shop when I’m hungry. I always come home with things I didn’t need.

What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.

I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.

Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.

Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.

Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.

just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.

I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.

They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.

The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.

I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"