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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
I think that work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?