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The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.