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Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
The older I get the better I used to be.
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...