Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
You`ve already put up your Christmas tree? That`s nothing. I`m already drunk for St. Patrick`s Day.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
sleep is for people without netflix
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."