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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
I´m the kind of person that when my feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, HE´S UP"!
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. ...We launch a bird into pigs!
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
They say when you meet the right one you will know right away. But why does it take 3 years to know it’s the wrong one?
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside