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I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
Not that I expect 100% truth in advertising, but shouldn’t those women in the tampon commercials be wielding chainsaws and burning stuff down, not laughing and dancing?
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
Stealing other people`s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.