Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
This Status Update could be yours for six Easy Payments of $19.99
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...