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The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"