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everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today