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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
My new plan is to ignore my problems until they become hilarious stories.
My Wife: Why are you home so early? Me: My boss told me to go to hell
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.