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Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn`t. So I gave it mouth to mouth.
I liked you better before we met.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?