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All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you`re donating blood...
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.