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No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
I don’t need your attitude. The voices in my head are enough
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.