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Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.
Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.
I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I`m eating.